this is important stuff for men to know

A COWBOY'S TOMBSTONE:
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. He died not knowing that he would win the 'Coolest Headstone' contest.
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.

Here lies Lester Moore.
Four slugs
From a forty-four.
No Les
No More.
-------------------------
On a grave digger:




Hooray my brave boys
Lets rejoice at his fall.
For if he had lived
He would have buried us all
------------------
On a lawyer in England:




Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer.
And that is Strange.
-------------------

TWENTY DOLLARS
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,

'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut

for sure. dang. I wonder how many times they had ot do it at $20 a pop to get that much......

*Tree*~ wrote:

for sure. dang. I wonder how many times they had ot do it at $20 a pop to get that much......

This might need to be on the impossible thread.

Boudreaux took his wife, Cloteele, to a dance down on the bayou, last weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor dancing like crazy – breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the whole works.

Cloteele turns to Boudreaux and says “See dat guy? 25 years ago he propose to me and I turn him down."

Boudreaux says “Looks like he still celebrating."

dawg, youre in a funny mood.

Keep em coming. I like starting my day off lmao..

Thibodeaux: Boudreaux, did you get the parrot I sent you for your birthday?

Boudreaux: Yes, it was good!


Thibodeaux: You ate the bird!


Boudreaux: Of Course I ate it.


Thibodeaux: That bird spoke five different languages!


Boudreaux: Then he should have said something.