Temperance Forgotten?

(I wrote this early one morning in August. It did not come from the events of Ferguson although the shooting occurred just a week or two before. Mostly just a stream of conscience over where we are today as a people. Hope y'all don't mind me sharing. It didn't fit under "poetry.")

Temperance Forgotten?

There are things in this world we inherently know. Many things we learn through experience, trial, and error. While some do not believe in the aspects of good and evil we see and experience both whether we believe or not.

People take sides in politics, economics, and social issues. Some attitudes and thoughts are learned. Some are reactive to the person who speaks the opinion, or possible stated facts, that differ from their own.

Somewhere along the way we have forgotten temperance. We have forgotten not all things need in depth discussion in social media, at church, parties, or over the fence.

We make judgements on people and situations based on the sides we choose to define our life. If I am not gay and you are gay does that halt a friendship? A conversation? Me being a neighbor to you?

If I am poor and you are rich - materially speaking - does that overshadow two people who may have much in common?

Do we seek to find the common tie in all?

So many times we define people by what we conceive as their weakness. If I mention the name Pete Rose what immediately comes to mind? His career as an excellent baseball player or his indiscretion?

If one white man robs another, assaults another, or beats his wife and children, do we assume all white men are bad until proven otherwise?

As families, neighbors, church or community organization members, are we guilty of reacting to political, social, and economic issues to the point of losing friends, family, and acquaintances over a “stand” for what is “right?” Do we come at odds with other families, neighbors, church and community organization members and work against each other rather than working together for the good of others? Where is the gain? Do we see the loss?

When did an opinion or standard for our lives become more important than kindness, respect, love, or tolerance?

I mentioned a few days ago the world needs a 1-3 p.m. daily nap and a social media and TV shutdown. We need perspective to see how we treat each other, the things we become “up in arms” over, and to take a temperature of self.

If we temper ourselves, inspect what is good and what is bad in our lives, admit our own faults, and see past the indiscretions, and move away from self righteous judgement - will there be a good outcome?

Can we only answer that according to our own political, social, and economic views. At this point I have to add those views are not concrete. They can move and sway if we are willing to be introspective, learn, review, and grow.

Do we have a foundation that allows for kindness, love, forgiveness, selflessness, patience, understanding, and room for others who are not like us?

Some things to consider - or not - depending on what drives your heart.

I don't feel I need to live in la-la land or have a false persona in order to avoid conflict. Personally, I want less worldly circumstances, debates, and events to drive my heart. I want my heart and mind to be driven by the things that have substance and truly matter in life.

Looking for substance and things that matter in my life are not bound in debate. I hope the same for you. My journey will not be the same as your journey. With respect, I want to learn of your journey and add to my own.

Peace be with you.

Good piece.

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While reading that, I couldn't help but think of the anonymity of forum members allowing for posts that wouldn't occur if we were discussing things face-to-face. If I was anonymous, I might write things I regret, so I chose to use my real name and picture to force me to use restraint. (Heaven knows, I write enough regrettable posts as it is.)

I am not suggesting that others chose my path. Each of us make our own decisions about anonymity, and that's okay.

The 'net is a wonderful thing and has lots of advantages... but it also allows for trollish behavior by anonymous users. It can get really nasty out there.

This forum is an example of a moderated forum where participants shouldn't fear from unnecessary stress. We do our best to allow users to express themselves... as long as it doesn't get personal or cross the line of propriety. As fellow users of this forum, I would appreciate feedback from y'all if I seem heavy-handed. If it is of a personal or sensitive nature, a PM would be appreciated instead of airing dirty laundry in front of everybody.

Posts made the last few days show we differ in our opinions, but this is what a forum is all about. Nobody has crossed the line of impropriety and I don't think anybody is mad at anybody else. Thank you, members, for your restraint.

I think social media, in general, has allowed many of us to speak to one another in ways we would have had our mouths washed out by our mothers or at least been given a good "switching."    I've had my share of bad days of mouthiness.  But something inside always draws me back to settle down.  I probably don't retract my opinions but I sure do retract the nature in which I shared some of them.  Phewwww...is it Thanksgiving that brings about soul searching?  

Anyway, thanks for reading and considering.

I'm not really soul searching today. I'm waiting for my son to come home and for tomorrow to be with him, the rest of my children, their spouses, nephews and neices, sisters and brothers and my favorite and only sister to arrive with her sweet potato casserole.

Many of them have different politics than I do, some of them agree with me, but we won't be talking about that tomorrow at the dinner table. We stopped doing that years ago.

But even having said that, I do think there are basic differences in people that are reflected in their religious beliefs, their political beliefs and their morals that sometimes just cannot be overlooked in order to maintain a relationship. The things you believe are what you are, just as much as the things you do are what you are. I have to know someone well before I learn their beliefs , and care about them deeply if I'm going to continue to care about them when I find out their thinking is so different from mine on what I think are some things that really make us what we are. And even then, there are some aspects of other people that I can't accept no matter if I love them before I know about those aspects. It rarely happens, but when it does that's the hardest kind of break up in a friendship, because the shock is so severe and the disappointment is so deep. I think it's because there's a sense of "why didn't I see that before" and why did they have to reveal that to me if they knew I'd disapprove so much. Whatever. I'm not sure what I said makes a bit of sense. Temperance is a good thing but it's an extremely difficult thing. We can't all be Buddhists. LOL
Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy your families. They won't always be around. Just stay off the politics, the religion, the child rearing, the talk about jobs- LOL- it might just be a very quiet meal if we could all do that.

I see temperance in what you offer. And maybe there is still a better word than temperance.

I recently met with cousins I had not been with in over 20 years. No talk of politics or religion. Refreshing conversations and no social media going on. Imagine that!!

Great thread...thank you.

You're welcome. Thanks for reading!