Dee Bait #2

The remaining candidates are gearing up for the second Republican debate, which will take place this Wednesday on CNN. It starts at 8 p.m. and ends when Donald Trump runs out of air.- Jimmy Fallon


If Trump were running Jade Helm 15, America would have conquered America and given it back to America.- LOLGOP

Trump's foreign policy is to act really scared of foreigners.- LOLGOP

Tonight's #GOPDebate features religious conservatives trying to control America warning us about the religious conservatives controlling Iran.- John Fugelsang

This weekend was the annual National Federation of Republican Women Convention. Or as Donald Trump called it, a total dog show. He would do that and his approval rating would go up 15 points.- Conan O'Brien

With all the talk about the presidential race, it's easy to forget that we're still 14 months from Election Day. Which means we're just nine years away from the end of the Trump presidency.- Stephen Colbert

I bet Jeb! can get his poll numbers up if he just works longer hours.- Tina Dupuy


Happy National Hispanic American Heritage Month or, as the GOP frontrunner calls it, National Criminals and Rapists Month.- LOLGOP


After Donald Trump attacked him on several issues yesterday, second-place GOP candidate Dr. Ben Carson told reporters he “didn’t want to get into a gladiator fight” with Trump. Especially since Trump comes with his own helmet.- Seth Myers


Summer 2015 began w/one crazy white woman who thinks she's black & ended w/another who thinks she's Christian. - John Fugelsang

Trump to his GOP opponents: I have trophy wives richer than you. - LOLGOP

Tonight On "America's Got No Talent - Republican Candidates Edition"




(click on image to enlarge)




(Jack Ohman, The Sacramento Bee)

Tonight, at the Shrine of the Immaculate Deception St. Ronnie of Hollywood Lieberry, is the second Republican poo-flinging contest "debate." Here's your lineup card, courtesy of Charles P. Pierce:


A frontrunner whose entire platform, as reinforced by a completely whackadoo collection of random sentences that he spouted on Tuesday night, is that he's him and you're not, and neither are the Supreme Leader of Iran, the president of Mexico, or the CEO of the Ford Motor Company.


A woman who nearly destroyed a hugely respected American brand and got paid something north of $20 million just to go away.


A brilliant neurosurgeon who believes that the Medicaid expansion was the Nuremberg Laws.


A guy who was governor of Florida shortly after Ponce de Leon blew town whose brother pretty much wrecked the country.


A bass-playing Bible-banging hayseed, who's presently campaigning for the rights of faith-based goldbricks to slough off on their government jobs.


Two incredibly unpopular governors, only one of whom is under active criminal investigation at the moment.


One governor who is popular in his state, but unloved by the fans of all these other clucks.


And three senators: a rookie from Florida with a pole up his ass the size of El Capitan; a former brogressive hero who can't make up his mind on the Civil Rights movement, and a Canadian-born, Tex-Mex Joe McCarthy whose only achievement in political office is pissing off Mitch McConnell which, while admirable, is hardly a qualification to have the guy with the nuclear codes sitting outside your office.


Also, there will be an earlier debate among people deemed to have insufficient gravitas to share a stage with these giants.
Please have plenty of popcorn at the ready.

"Fiorina probably had the best night... if you don’t fact check anything she said."

The 3-hour debate showed us that reality-television stars are only entertaining for the first 60 minutes. http://t.co/yh5cR06yvO

— Jonathan Capehart (@CapehartJ) September 17, 2015

Trump. What a pleasant and humble person. Can't stop saying kind and generous things about his fellow Republicans. #DebateWithBernie

— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) September 17, 2015

Now we're really getting to the Republican talking points. More money for war and confrontation. #DebateWithBernie

— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) September 17, 2015



War, war, war. When do we get to their other major priority: tax breaks for billionaires? #DebateWithBernie

— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) September 17, 2015

"Bernie Sanders has now passed Hillary Clinton in the New Hampshire polls. It's the first time anyone's ever been passed by a guy in a Prius." –Seth Meyers

"A new poll shows that Hillary Clinton is only six points ahead of Bernie Sanders. Today a very confident Hillary said, 'Oh, please. Like I'm going to lose the Democratic nomination to a left-wing senator nobody's ever heard of?'" –Conan O"Brien

"Bernie Sanders drew over 20,000 people to his campaign event in Portland this weekend. Sounds impressive, but remember, it's Portland. You can draw a crowd of 20,000 people with a Frisbee." –Seth Meyers

"Hillary Clinton has joined Instagram. Meanwhile, her Democratic opponent Bernie Sanders joined telegram." –Seth Meyers

"There are reports that Hillary Clinton's campaign is saving money by encouraging staffers to take discounted buses between New York and Washington. Not to be outdone, Bernie Sanders is actually Fed-Exing himself to every speech." –Jimmy Fallon

"Mike Huckabee said he's the only person who has fought the Clinton political machine and won. As opposed to Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders, who's the only person who fought a fax machine and lost." –Jimmy Fallon

"Liberal Democrat Bernie Sanders had a rally in Los Angeles last night attended by over 27,000 supporters. The rally set the world record for most Priuses in one parking lot." –Conan O"Brien

"Bernie Sanders' presidential campaign announced that it raised over $1.5 million in the 24 hours after he announced his bid. Meanwhile, a 12-year-old on Kickstarter just raised $7 million in five minutes after announcing his idea for juice box water guns." –Jimmy Fallon

"According to a New York Times report, Hillary Clinton's campaign is trying to put the whole email scandal behind her. They say they want to start bringing humor and spontaneity to her campaign. And nothing says spontaneity like announcing you're about to be spontaneous. “Here comes the spontaneity in 3, 2, 1 ... Boo!" –Jimmy Fallon

"The State Department just released another batch of Hillary’s e-mails from when she was Secretary of State. In the e-mails, Hillary asked an aide what time “The Good Wife” was on, how to charge her iPad, and how to get wi-fi. Hillary sounds less like the Secretary of State and more like my mom at a hotel." –Jimmy Fallon

"According to a new poll, Hillary Clinton has lost a third of her supporters in Iowa since May. There's still debate as to whether she lost them or just deleted them from her database." –Jimmy Fallon

"In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that one of the jobs that prepared her to be president was sliming fish in Alaska. As opposed to Bill, who learned by catching crabs in Cancun." –Jimmy Fallon

"Hillary Clinton is headed to L.A. this month to attend a fundraiser hosted by 'Spider-Man' star Tobey Maguire. Hillary is a big fan of Spider-Man because he proves that Americans still love sequels." –Jimmy Fallon

"Hillary Clinton has temporarily changed her campaign logo to rainbow colors in support of marriage equality. Of course, her idea of marriage equality is both of you should get to be president." –Seth Meyers

"Hillary Clinton is now in Iowa. She's spending every waking minute of her day meeting ordinary people, and it's to prepare her for a job in which she will never again meet an ordinary person." –David Letterman

"Hillary Clinton announced she's running for president. Yesterday in Ohio, Hillary popped into a Chipotle and she ordered a burrito bowl with chips and salsa. And on her way out she said, 'That locks down the Hispanic vote.'" –Conan O'Brien

nochain wrote:

"According to a New York Times report, Hillary Clinton's campaign is trying to put the whole email scandal behind her. They say they want to start bringing humor and spontaneity to her campaign. And nothing says spontaneity like announcing you're about to be spontaneous. “Here comes the spontaneity in 3, 2, 1 ... Boo!" –Jimmy Fallon

"The State Department just released another batch of Hillary’s e-mails from when she was Secretary of State. In the e-mails, Hillary asked an aide what time “The Good Wife” was on, how to charge her iPad, and how to get wi-fi. Hillary sounds less like the Secretary of State and more like my mom at a hotel." –Jimmy Fallon

"According to a new poll, Hillary Clinton has lost a third of her supporters in Iowa since May. There's still debate as to whether she lost them or just deleted them from her database." –Jimmy Fallon

"In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that one of the jobs that prepared her to be president was sliming fish in Alaska. As opposed to Bill, who learned by catching crabs in Cancun." –Jimmy Fallon

"Hillary Clinton is headed to L.A. this month to attend a fundraiser hosted by 'Spider-Man' star Tobey Maguire. Hillary is a big fan of Spider-Man because he proves that Americans still love sequels." –Jimmy Fallon

"Hillary Clinton has temporarily changed her campaign logo to rainbow colors in support of marriage equality. Of course, her idea of marriage equality is both of you should get to be president." –Seth Meyers

"Hillary Clinton is now in Iowa. She's spending every waking minute of her day meeting ordinary people, and it's to prepare her for a job in which she will never again meet an ordinary person." –David Letterman

"Hillary Clinton announced she's running for president. Yesterday in Ohio, Hillary popped into a Chipotle and she ordered a burrito bowl with chips and salsa. And on her way out she said, 'That locks down the Hispanic vote.'" –Conan O'Brien

So.....the bottom line to all of the posts....Politicians keep late night comedians in material?....

And where's all the coverage of the democrats debates?....Oh, that's right her majesty doesn't want to debate and the dnc chairperson does what she's told!....

Good point, MW.

Why haven't we seen any Democrat debates?

Why no debates?
We can not stop laughing long enough to organize 1.
Please carry on GOP

Jeb Bush revealed he smoked pot in high school, but did not disclose what drug his brother was on when he invaded Iraq.- Andy Borowitz


They're at the library of a man who armed both Saddam and the ayatollah. Irony just hanged itself in a cheap hotel.  #GOPDebate - John Fugelsang



I enjoyed Fiorina's smackdown of Trump as much as anyone. But let's be honest: when the biggest moment of a debate is one candidate rebuking another for making fun of her face, we are not exactly in Lincoln-Douglas territory.- Andy Borowitz

A conservative super PAC just announced yesterday that they plan to spend $1 million on campaign ads attacking Donald Trump. Trump was like, “Make it $2 million and I'll STAR in them!"- Jimmy Fallon


Given a choice, I'm pretty sure most Americans would prefer to shut down the Republican Party over Planned Parenthood.- LOLGOP

WHY HAVEN'T YOU WATCHED THE TAPES CARLY FIORINA MADE UP!?

The people who believe Obama is a Muslim also believed Dick Cheney was a Christian.- John Fugelsang



FYI: If you're talking about rounding people up because they're Muslim, your big concern isn't "religious freedom."- LOLGOP


The New York Times is reporting that in recent speeches Donald Trump has seemed more composed and toned down, and has started using prepared notes. Now instead of just calling people “losers” and “morons,” he reads it off a card.- Seth Myers


According to a new poll, almost half of Florida voters think their own candidates, Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio, should drop out of the race. While the other half of Florida keeps asking what happened to Eisenhower." –Jimmy Fallon


Bristol Palin is just mad nobody's offered her a job at Unplanned Parenthood.- John Fugelsang

Twitter says there's a poll that says 43%of Republicans think Obama is a Muslim. The 1% counts on that 43%.- Paula Poundstone

Eric wrote:

Good point, MW.  

Why haven't we seen any Democrat debates?

Today [10-8-15]....CNN announced that the upcoming Dem Debate will be SHORTENED by one hour!....They are pulling out all the stops to protect hrc....Again this is the media being in the pocket of a political party....During the Clinton years CNN used to be called the Clinton News Network....

So dirty... they will likely give her the questions in advance too... so that she can script her response. I can guarantee you they won't pit them against each other like they did with the pub candidates.

PkrBum wrote:

So dirty... they will likely give her the questions in advance too... so that she can script her response. I can guarantee you they won't pit them against each other like they did with the pub candidates.

The obvious reason is that the other candidates [Sanders--Webb---O'Malley] won't even speak about hrc let alone criticize her but that may all change once of when Joe enters into the mix....An article said that Team Clinton is scrambling to get all they can on Joe so they really must fear him....

Initially when Webb entered into the race thought that he may have an impact among the 'moderate' democrats but so far beginning to believe there are no such things as moderate democrats and this entire goat rope on the dem side is just all about how far further left they can go...

Nobody can control what ole joe says... not even joe... lol.