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 Apologies for my absence

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Melissa
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PostSubject: Apologies for my absence   Thu May 16, 2013 12:23 am

Hi Eric and everyone,

I apologize for my absence most of this week. We lost our Molly and our Mikey a week ago, and we have been grieving. It is not something I am able to to discuss without great pain, but I felt I needed to mention it here. It has been a tremendous loss for both my husband and me, so I would prefer not to discuss it right now.

Our Buddy is doing well. He is king of the house and yard now, and such a sweet, lovable, clumsy baby. Smart, though! He always has been. I've got him in intensive training again, so he's finally learning not to jump up on folks so he can give'em a great, big, sloppy kiss.

Maybe some Sunday soon I'll bring him over to Navy Point on a Sunday walk.

Give my love to all your pets out there....

PB

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riceme

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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Mon May 20, 2013 10:03 pm

Oh my god, I am so very sorry, Melissa!

Sorry I didn't see this before now, I haven't been around for a couple of weeks. If there is anything I can do for you please let me know. I'm giving Blue Kitty some snuggles and loves for you right now...

Sending all my love to you and your household right now.
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Melissa
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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Tue May 21, 2013 4:13 pm

Thanks, my friend. If I think about it too much, I'll cry again.

I will PM you when I can.
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Jake92



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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Tue May 21, 2013 5:29 pm

I'm soooooo sorry Melissa. I lost my Gizmo in May 85 and still can't get another Sheltie YET after 18 years..
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Melissa
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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Wed May 22, 2013 8:48 am

Thank you, Jake. Yes, it's been terribly difficult and sad.

We do have a big baby left, Buddy, who is now getting all the love and attention. In the past, he lived pretty much outdoors because his sister, Molly, tended to try to dominate him even though she was smaller than he. Buddy, though big and tough-looking, has always been the sweet baby, the submissive dog.

Molly was different. She was a rednose, and unfortunately had some negative rednose characteristics. She was territorial and protective, particularly of my husband and our little Mikey. She loved me, too, but not in the same way, I don't think. Buddy has always been my little guy; Molly gravitated toward my husband.

Something snapped in Molly's brain while my husband was out working two weeks ago, and we had to put her down. Mikey was already dead. Quite honestly, I feared for my own safety at that time. That was the deciding factor in the decision to put her down. We knew something had gone terribly wrong in her mind, and we couldn't risk what she could do to others.

We talked at length with the folks from animal control. I can't say enough about the kindness of those people. They helped us so much with our guilt about having to euthanize Molly. Yes, they were very concerned about the possibility of rabies, but she was up-to-date on her immunizations. An animal control officer came to our house to talk with us about this. I chose not to take the rabies shots, and I'm still here and without symptoms, so I think I'll be OK.

No, there is no replacing pets that have passed over the Rainbow Bridge, but for an animal lover, the love is still there. It's what to do with that love that has proven challenging for us. We can continue to grieve, or we can try and harness that love and give it to a pet who is still very much with us and quite possibly grieving himself.

We have made the decision to keep Buddy as a family member, even though he is Molly's sibling. Their personalities are completely different, and we have seen no signs of territoriality or aggression with Bud. He's just a big, clumsy Marmaduke,and the only damage he can do to our home is with his perpetually wagging tail.

I am sad. I am so very sad. Like you, Jake, I don't know if I will ever get over this. You can only imagine the grief my husband is feeling. We must go on, though, and we must do something with the love we had for Molly and Mikey, so Buddy is the willing recipient.

I hope you will consider adopting another dog, Jake. The pound is so full of dogs that need and deserve love, and you obviously have so much to give.

EDIT: I debated even writing this, but perhaps it needed to be done. I realize there is a lot of prejudice toward pit bulls, and I don't want to add to that. What we need to remember is Molly was rescued as a puppy from a person who raised pits for fighting in north Escambia County. Her brain may have been the result of breeding and in-breeding known fighting dogs. We just don't know. We'll never know. Did we make a mistake adopting them? I don't think so, even now. We gave Molly the best life we could possibly give her, and that sustains us.

One thing I now know that I didn't know before: Never, ever adopt canine siblings. There will be rivalry there, and the results can be tragic.
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Eric

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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Wed May 22, 2013 10:50 am

Dammit!

Sometimes the forum doesn't color those symbols that should tell me a new thread or post has been made.

But that's insignificant compared to your loss, Melissa. Being a pet-lover myself, one that goes to pieces when one is lost, your loss of two "family members" must be incredible.

Hang in there. Pets cannot be replaced because their special love cannot be duplicated, but in time, a new pet can supply it's own special sort of devotion.

_________________
Ideas are funny little things, they won't work unless you do.
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stormwatch89

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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Thu May 23, 2013 9:58 am

Melissa, I hadn't seen this. My heart breaks for you. It is especially difficult when it's an aggression problem. My last mastiff had issues and it was a constant worry. I feel your pain.

We do love our critters and I've always found that while they're are not replaceable a new pup can bring brand new smiles..........

Hugs
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Melissa
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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Thu May 23, 2013 3:08 pm

Thank you, Eric and Stormy, for your kinds words. Thank you so much.
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stormwatch89

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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Thu May 23, 2013 5:18 pm

Ya know it's a bit funny that I got Sophie in order to help me bear the grief when I lose Paige, but now I think Sophie's the one who will need a new sis............so the circle continues. Smile

I'm getting too dam old to handle these rather large ladies!

You'll be ok, I know, but it hurts, it surely hurts and I'm so very sorry, GF.

Again, think of what you DO have......maybe?

Molly had the best life available to her given the circumstances. Be glad for that and know that you provided her the best of the best.
You are to be admired for that. I still remember when you found you could adopt them and how happy you were. We never know, do we?

Wish I could do something...........if you think of anything..................let me know!!!!!! I'm so very sad for you.


Hugs
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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Fri May 24, 2013 12:30 am

So sorry for your situation PB. I know how much you loved your babies.
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Melissa
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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Fri May 24, 2013 8:04 am

Thanks again, Stormy, and thank you, Joani.

Our Buddy comes inside to sit with us every day for hours. Bud prefers the outside world we made just for him, but he want to be with us, too. If he had his way, we'd be living outside with him. Very Happy

Bud is such a typical doggy dog. Loves to play ball and fetch, gather "stuff", go for long walks and, most of all, do the huggy thing. While I'm sitting, Bud puts his big legs sort of around my waist then puts his head on my left shoulder. Always my left shoulder, for some reason. He'll stay in that position for as long as I'll let him. He's learning to do this only on command, tough though it is for me to limit him in that way. We know we have to do things in a different manner with Buddy. It is so, so important for a large dog to know who's boss - and that is where we failed Molly.

Our kitties are still here, too. Both are a little over ten years old and still going strong.

How we miss our Mikey and our Molly. We consider ourselves lucky to have had them both in our lives for as long as we did.
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stormwatch89

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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Fri May 24, 2013 9:41 am

So sweet.

Hon, don't think of yourself as failing Molly! I did a lot of reading when my last mastiff began showing signs of aggression. What I learned is that most dogs can be controlled, but there is an x gene of some sort that, though rare cannot be controlled. I also read pups learn most in the first 2 weeks of life. You didn't have Molly then and Lord knows what she went through. Sad

Judging from Buddy's behavior, I'm sure Molly knew who was boss. Do NOT blame yourself. We do the best we can (goes for kids too!) and should not fall prey to the guilt trip. My Dad died trying to answer my phone call............beat myself up? You betcha.
We just can't do it, darlin or we would all be toast

Heal soon,
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Melissa
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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Sat May 25, 2013 8:48 am

Thanks, sweet friend.
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stormwatch89

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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Sun May 26, 2013 7:38 pm

Feeling any better?
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Melissa
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PostSubject: Re: Apologies for my absence   Mon May 27, 2013 12:01 pm

Stormy, I wish we could say we are feeling substantially better, but we really aren't, not yet. I think it's going to be a gradual, day-by-day thing. Our pets are family to us, and losing two members at one time has been pretty devastating to us.

We were offered an opportunity yesterday to adopt a hound dog. We can't do it, not now. Instead, we are giving all our love to our guy, Buddy, and our two kitties. Very Happy None of our little ones deserve another family member hoisted on them right now, as much as we wanted to give the hound dog a home. We all need to heal, but it is taking time. I haven't cried during the last two days, so I guess that's progress.

Thanks so much for asking, and caring.
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